The Wellington leg of the Comedy Christmas Gala is on stage at the Opera House.

I’d like to start with a few words about this venue. You have to love the Opera House, she’s like a Victorian strumpet in her red and gold finery (though I won’t tell you what Michele A’Court compared her to!) I just want to know why when they refurbished this venue they got rid of the central aisle. There were forty seats in our row. It stretched off into the distance like the Great Wall of China. It didn’t help that there appeared to be a group booking from the Weak Bladder Society of Wellington occupying the middle of this row. We were up and down like a bride’s nightie throughout the first half, letting these people in and out. It got so bad that I threatened one guy on his sixth squeeze past with a lewd act involving my Magnum icecream stick if he tried it again.

You see that’s why I don’t like the kind of humour in which Brendhan Lovegrove, our MC for the evening, specialises. After an hour of listening to him getting laughs at other people’s expense, being nasty to a stranger was disturbingly easy. I don’t think the world needs any more cheap laughs. And I’m not just saying that because I belong to one of his targeted groups – Hutt girls.

First up is Jarlath Regan from Ireland. Ooh I could listen to him all night, lilting away. His recreation of trying to talk his father through working the video player over the phone brought the house down.

Michele A’Court is next. Always an entertaining performer who mixes intelligent social commentary and smut to great effect. This and her delightful reminiscences of time spent in Wellington made for a really enjoyable and funny performance.

Ben Hurley got my tick with his concern for the impact on NZ of global warming and the perils of trying new sexual acts when drunk.

The second half brought us yet more Brendhan Lovegrove, but I woke up for Jeremy Elwood. Points there for using the word "numpty". Also for the commentary on how men don’t think things through properly (quick aside – a friend of mine is convinced that this is how ‘project management’ was invented, because men have to be taught to think things through and get a qualification to prove they’ve learnt it).

Zoe Lyons from the UK is a new face. She shared a hilarious cautionary tale about following Nigella Lawson’s cooking advice after a bottle of sherry, as well as exploring the illogical implications of there being no row 13 on a plane. I like how she thinks, although I like Nigella and I don’t like sherry.

Last and I confess, my favourite act of the night is comedian and singer Wilson Dixon. His laid back style is so different from the frenetic performances preceding him, making us hang on his every word. He has a gift for letting silence amplify his quirky humour that I suspect is much harder to pull off than he makes it look.

The audience loved it all. I only loved some bits. I don’t like humour at the expense of others and prefer a comic who tells a great yarn and has us laugh with them not at the butt of their jokes. It was obvious however that most of the audience couldn’t tell the difference. Luckily there was more of the yarn than the belittling stuff, but I guess it just goes to show that some people will laugh at anything.
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Comedy Christmas Gala host Brendhan Lovegrove starts the evening as he means to continue: in blistering top form. Setting a relentless pace, and with his up front, no-holes-barred content and style, he deserves the audience’s rolling laughter. We hoot at every gag, yarn and insight (even his trade-mark shocking stuff, when you know you really shouldn’t).

As he opens each half, and segues between acts, Lovegrove opens fire on all manner of topics including American arrogance; the South African take over of Browns Bay; the population of China; NZ’s armed services, police force, private schools and polytechs; the subtleties of cricket; as well as poor old Hamilton. And thank you Brendhan, for turning Paul Henry into an adjective, with perfect timing and context. 

The NZ Comedy Trust throw festive fairy lights and lanterns at Sky city’s theatre, making a warm Yuletide grotto for new and established NZ comedians, as well as several internationals, to step up to the mic and share their Christmas cheer. Almost without exception, their offerings are lapped up enthusiastically by a crowd made up of office parties electing to laugh for their end of year function, groups of friends and fans of comedy.

Australian Will Anderson opens with entertaining and refreshing social commentary about how we drink, before he shares what’s on his mind this festive season, including a very humorous period joke! The comedy scene is all the richer for his openness and intelligent twists.

The suitably named Jarred Christmas is an energetic, well-prepared confident storyteller, and uses his name to maximum effect.

Wellington comic T J Mcdonald possesses astute intelligence and it’s well worth listening to every word, though as a performer, he seems somewhat detached from his audience.

Multi-talented Australian Felicity Ward is a brilliant performer with offbeat material, a great singing voice and mean guitar skills.

While I’ve seen Cori Gonzalez-Macuer in much sharper form, he manages a solid yet low-key and at times rambling routine.

Relative newcomer Rhys Mathewson has no fear in terms of risky subject matter and positively relishes the chance to skip, fool around and test our religious sensitivities. I look forward to hearing more from this cheerful plucky young man.

Stalwarts of the comedy scene, Irene Pink and Michele A’ Court are both at ease as they take to the stage with self-assured routines.

Simon McKinney shares some hilarious Christmas observations, using his trademark accents and characterizations. While his re-enactment of how the Queen’s annual message has lowered in tone over the decades is a personal highlight, he is in top form from start to finish.

Jarlath Regan from Ireland is wonderfully likeable and charming as he shares with us the pain of growing up with IT-illiterate parents. His past life as a graphic designer is put to excellent use, as he proves without a doubt he’s found the right profession as a comedian, ending his routine by presenting a set of hilarious greeting cards for a more discerning consumer.

Another warm comedian is Clayton Leslie from Christchurch, who shares some entertaining Christmas tales about his family.

Choosing material less safe and with a political bent is the always-interesting Jeremy Elwood, who takes thought-provoking stock of this year’s, highlights and low-lights for his Christmas contribution.

Appearing in suitable attire, James Nokise delivers excellent local content to this Christmas feast, bringing Britomart, KFC, Fiji and a bit of Bro’ to town.

The evening ends with two absolute standouts: Zoe Lyons from the UK and the laid back lovable all-singing’ Wilson Dixon.

Lyons loves food and has us eating out of the palm of her hand as she recalls her Christmas turkey disaster.

Wilson Dixon ends the night with an inspiring song about making mistakes, called "Never". He’s just so darn clever and funny, on so many levels. 

While the evening’s final act is an abrupt tinsel explosion onto an empty stage, which even seems to take the host by surprise, the Christmas Comedy Gala is a highly recommended tonic to the end of year madness. The NZ Comedy Trust knows the formula for Galas very well, and they’ve notched up another successful one here. Lap it up as it comes to a town near you soon!
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