Ollie and I are doing a double bill of traumatic dramatics tonight, having seen Should Have Said No, which deals with sexual assault, and now we’re sitting through Inquiet Moments, a piece about anxiety, how it affects us, and how the ones we love deal with it (or not).

Our protagonist is Riley, a young 20 something who lives her life with the dark shadows of anxiety watching her every move. The theatre is dark, much like I imagine what it’s like to live with anxiety. A dark room with dark walls and a single bed. Riley’s got a girlfriend (shout out to Prea Millar who was also in Should Have Said No – what a treat to see you work your craft twice in one night), who is trying to be there for her as best she can. Riley fobs off her anxiety with I’m fines and I’ll be okays but the figures in black are always there, lurking in the background, and ready to steal Riley away when she’s in a moment of happiness, like watching the stars, or holding hands with her girl.

I love the physicality of the anxiety here: the goons often lift Riley off her feet and out of the embrace of her loving gf, back into the dark room of her panic attacks. She’s a writer, and the goons are there even when she’s trying to articulate on paper just what she’s going through. With her partner, Riley seems whole and healthy, but cracks appear when she starts talking trash about herself. Isn’t that just like anxiety: always there ready and willing to ruin a beautiful moment?

There’s a lot of physical theatre on display here – anxiety is often holding Riley down, pulling her away, dragging her and catching her when she falls. They make it all look so beautiful, the way her anxiety holds her tight, rests its head on her shoulders, even though I know this is not something I would ever want to experience first-hand. 

Real talk: I didn’t know what anxiety even was until I started dating someone who suffers from it. It is an all-encompassing thing and we have struggled to find the light in some moments. I feel its presence daily and, like Riley’s girlfriend, I find it hard to handle at times. It’s not just the person who has anxiety who suffers, and I think this play makes a good point of this. Anxiety is the burden, not the people who live with it.

I suppose during the play I’m hoping for a bit more light. I want Riley and her girlfriend to work it out. I want Riley to break out of her prison. I’m not sure if she does in the end.

Ollie and I have differing takes on how it wraps up – has she healed? Is she better? Or has she decided that living a life like this simply isn’t worth it? She walks towards the light. The optimist in me believes she’s found her way out through her writing.

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