For those of you who might not know, Christopher Walken is an American actor, singer, comedian, director, producer, screenwriter, dancer, and now puppet who has appeared in more than 100 films and television programs. But of course you know this. He’s one of the world’s best and most prolific actors, and how he’s made of wood and attached to strings.

Puppet master Jon Coddington from the cult hit Puppet Fiction, takes on this formidable character with his co-creator Hannah Clarke (who I think ends up taking the stage at one point to interact with a fluffy orange monster puppet, George. But I’ll get to that later. Right now it’s all about Walken.

We’re seated in a stuffy small room at Bats, so I’m already a little worried about how the show is going to go. The pheromones are present as this tiny, feral room is filled mostly with men. It’s hot, but not in the way you might think it is. Anyway, I’m here for Chris, and here he is dressed in a gold blazer and blue suede shoes. He’s adorable and not at all as terrifying as Mr Walken in real life. 

Walken’s stage is a red box with movie props, and he gets the lolz as he tries to climb up to perform. It’s amazing to see Coddington work them strings so effortlessly: a flick of the wrist here, a rapid thumb movement there. He’s pretty adorable himself in his suspenders and moustache waxed up, as is the trend right now. Even with a broken string, Coddington is able to make Walken move in ways you would never expect him to. I’m talking flossing. I’m talking crumping. It’s hilarious, if not a bit bizarre to see a 30-something man play with a Christopher Walken doll.

The show is mainly Walken talkin’. From narrating his own impressive autobiography, to riffing on classic movie scenes, Walken can talk a lot, and I worry for our puppet master’s voice tomorrow. After all, Walken the human has quite a unique voice, not one that would be easy to imitate for just under an hour.

Breaking up the monologues are cute trivia moments where Coddington engages the audience and the outspoken ones win prizes like little chattering teeth (I see you Iko Iko). I don’t play along because I kinda hate immersive stuff, but the crowd is lively and clearly enjoying themselves. Some of them share their own favorite movies, not necessarily Walken-related. We’ve got a Gladiator fan, a Dirty Dancing lover, and a shout out to Breaking the Waves, which happens to be one of my own favourite movies. Not to say that I’m not having a good time, but I’ve had a pretty shitty day and it’s hot and it’s late and I’m tired and I just want to be home in bed with my cat. But then George arrives. GEORGE.

George is the halftime show, but he’s better than Shakira and JLo. This fluffy, orange 3 year-old monster with the googliest of eyes is exactly what I need. Just as I’m thinking there won’t be enough Walken material to last the whole show, Coddington obviously thunk it too when he was putting the show together: it’s comic relief and much needed from the rather intense main character.

You know what I mean. Walken is no light fluff. Knowing his movies will help you follow the monologues, but you don’t need to brush up on anything to get a kick out of George. George is just as talented as Walken, if not more. He can dance, he can sing, he can pole dance. At one point he has the crowd singing along to Alice Cooper’s ‘Poison’, and damn it, I’m in love.

Suddenly the catty fight, exhausting lunch, and general suicide-inducing day at work don’t seem so bad. Walken eventually comes back to the stage and it’s fine, but I feel George’s absence. He’s fun! He’s wacky! And I want more of him. There’s more trivia which now feels a bit tired after the lolz from George, but oh well. I’ve made my choice. I go for Walken but I stay for George.

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