Called in at the last minute to stand in for an indisposed school inspector, I find myself witnessing all too recognisable (mis)behaviour on the part of pupils and staff. They try to hide behind aliases but I’ve done some sleuthing and discovered the actual names of the miscreants.

When Mr Campbell reminds the assembly it’s School Group Appreciation Week and asks which group they’d like to appreciate this time, the answer is The Anarchists! I’m shocked – does the Board know such a club is exists in their high school? Then there’s a request/reminder from the assembly that it’s time for the Environmental Committee Sausage Sizzle. Are there legitimate learnings to be had from such an activity?

Not only all that but they launch into song at the drop of a random key phrase, sometimes a bit dirgey (is that a word?) other times more lively. They fizzle about the sizzle, for example, and I must concede their rhymings are good.

When Kevin (the alias of Elliott Lam) asks Chris (Austin Harrison) if he wants to join the Anarchists, Chris says, “I don’t join clubs.” “That’s Step One,” replies Kevin. He’s quick, that boy. But their singing ‘This Is Not A Club’ with everyone joining in comes dangerously close to a disciplined ensemble. Not a bum note to be heard thanks to young Finn on the electronic keyboard.

Ralph (Malcolm Morrison) and Gemma (Bethany Miller) are organising the sausage sizzle and they seem to regard to Anarchists as hypocrites, so plan to inject laxative into the snags – prompting another song. I’m tempted to intervene but my role is simply to observe and report.

Jackie (Megan [Mog] Connolly) purports to have broken free of the strictures of formal education and is vibing with the universe at various levels. Meanwhile Kevin. Aware of how bad life is for most people, is having trouble coming to terms with being privileged so tells his girlfriend Ingrid (Lydia Sainsbury) she has to break up with him, so he’ll have something to feel bad about. They even sing about that too!

Not that it’s any of my business but it looks as if Ingrid is getting Jackie to vibe her way, romantically. Their song confirms they each think the other is neat. But the Principal (Matt Hutton) is trying to shut down the sausage sizzle. Not that I approve of it either, but when the Anarchists therefore want a sausage, Ralph is astute enough to say “No!” which makes them even more determined. Clever, except …

Gemma, who appears to have been warming to the Anarchists, has the decency to confess that the sausages are contaminated but not before the Principal indulges – really, do we have to see him straining at the stool? – and the upshot of that is that he suspends Gemma. He even tries to ‘sell’ the school hierarchy to the students because it gives each of them someone to look down on! (I’m still considering how to evaluate his choices in my report.)

Of course the Anarchists take Gemma in – cue: ‘Let’s Stay and Do Some Anarchy’. Given everyone gets to review their behaviour in this final song, I’m heartened by their capacity for self-evaluation. It seems they’re a well-tuned group called The Power Ballads with a flair for spontaneous creativity and I find myself drawn to the importance of those skills for raising good citizens capable of functioning positively in this every-challenging world.  

E tautoko ana mātou i tēnei whakaaro! Rawe!

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