Ooosh. This one has hit very close to home. And it seems like the warm, diverse audience around me felt the same. In fact, I challenge you to see Celestial Nobodies and not identify with at least some of the issues this hard working team is tackling under the guidance of director Anastasia Matteini-Roberts.

Written by Evangelina Telfar, Celestial Nobodies is a collection of monologues (plus a dialogue and a song) delivered by the personified planets of our solar system. The script is clever, witty, informative and emotional. Each planet, and our moon and the sun, take a spin on the BATS stage. They cover toxic relationships, first loves, mental health, identity, and more.

Watching Mercury (Annica Lewis) trying to ask the universe for a day off is the first of many “that’s me” moments. I don’t know who needs to hear this but your sick leave is for your mental health as well as your physical health.

Uranus (Laurel Mitchell) asks, “What’s in a name?” in a comedic and unhinged kind of way. Venus (El Yule) is hyper feminine and hyper sexual, but it’s not for you so could you stop looking? El’s sexy, angry performance had the teens in front of me literally gasping.

Laurel Mitchell returns, this time as Mars who is trying to get help for an infection, an infestation, a colonisation perhaps? But is struggling to be heard or taken seriously by their doctor. Again, something that felt personal for me. If it does for you, you can see a list of your rights here: https://www.hdc.org.nz/your-rights/the-code-and-your-rights/.

El Yule also returns, now as Neptune who is finding their way through the pain and joy of first love and self discovery. Q Walker arrives as a frazzled mum, Jupiter. The desperation of a parent who is quite simply outnumbered by their children (Jupiter’s moons in this case) is spot on. A very good question is raised: Yes she loves them, but what if she’d had a choice?

Earth (Lilli Margaret) is going through a tough time. I feel for Earth, they’re struggling and they don’t know if they’re going to make it this time. But being unwell is not an excuse to treat others badly. Moon (Annica Lewis again) arrives and calls out Earth’s controlling behaviour.

Q Walker returns, and their performance as Saturn is an absolute highlight. My love of Schitt’s Creek (think “a little bit Alexis”) probably makes me biased, but Q has the audience eating out of their hand with perfect timing, energy, frivolity, and moments of introspection and thoughtfulness that felt genuine. Bravo.

Having finished school pre 2006, Pluto is still a planet in my mind, thanks to a mnemonic I’ll never forget: My Very Energetic Mother Just Swam Under New Plymouth. I enjoy Lilli Margaret’s Pluto, a lecturer who doesn’t understand why humans are so obsessed with labels.

Finally the Sun comes out. Here, Nick Erasmuson as Eva Goodcoq performs a song complete with back up dancers. The Sun is shining so brightly, but there’s a lot more going on underneath the surface. Like an old Hollywood diva trying to keep up appearances, the smile is cracking.

The lighting (Bekky Boyce) and sound design (Phil Brownlee) are both beautiful and the set (Anne-Lisa Noordover) is simple but clever. Constellations, clouds, and an aurora make the space feel surprisingly spacious but also warm.

There are bits and pieces that could be edited or further developed, but the bones of Celestial Nobodies are excellent and the whole team should feel proud of their good work here.

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I love a gas giant and I love a big cast of people on stage – it feels mighty and thrilling to have so many bodies out there. Celestial Nobodies starts off with a bang, a Big Bang of 11 Wellington actors, many well-known to the theatre going crowd, and each representing a planet in our universe.  

This one is for the space nerds, if I can be so bold to give you that label. These planets don’t like their labels either. Saucy Venus (El Yule ) is sick and tired of the unwanted male gaze. Pluto (Q Walker) is hilariously furious about their dwarf planet status (fair).

All of these planets are just so relatable personified as hot messes, making me feel a little bit more okay with my own status of being a mess too. My companion Cheltenham is also a mess (albeit a high functioning one), and I’m sure all of the humans packing out this theatre are messes in one way or another. It’s only fitting that the planets in our skies should be like us. Or do we want them to remain flawless gods? 

While not all the planets are stellar, I have some faves I’d make a mobile with. Venus is fun because they’re over the top with the haughtiness (and hotness, so to speak). El Yule’s sassy tone is a crowd favourite, and the mini striptease is a cherry on top of this sundae.

Neptune (Lilli Margaret) drunk dials their true love, knowing damn well their message will go unanswered. Their vulnerability is touching in a very deep way. Jupiter (Amalia Calder) is a strung out mum, struggling to take care of all her moons. I feel that pain all too well, juggling life and children, feeling like a failure at both.

The space jokes are plentiful, but many lean towards the hilariousness of ‘gas’, which possibly gets less funny the more it’s brought up.

The Sun (Aimée Sullivan) brings us back to Earth (Courtney Rose Brown) with a show stopping number in the end – and man can they sing.

If you like your theatre with a strong dose of science and space facts, this is your show. These talented actors make STEM fun, cute, a little sad and interesting in ways I didn’t think was possible. 

Copyright © in the review belongs to the reviewer