Everyone feels ‘up’ or ‘down’ to varying degrees; everyone imagines and fantasises too – that’s what humans do. Imagine how bland life would be without that; how bereft the creative arts and entertainment would be. It’s when we can’t climb out of a depression, or when we truly believe a fantasy is reality or fiction is fact, that we need help – and it is at that point that we are probably less inclined than anyone else to realise it.  

Bipolar disorder was the diagnosis that, back in 2010, changed 24 year old Clarissa Chandrahasen’s sense of self back. Such personal mental health crises and the treatments that follow are usually kept as private as possible. To share such experiences publicly, in ways that contribute to the wider world, takes bravery, generosity, creativity, commitment and social sensibility.

Janet Frame gave the world such a gift with her writing. More recently, at BATS Theatre, Charlotte Simmonds wrote and performed Arctic/Antarctic: a bipolar play (2006) and FME Desmarais wrote and performed HOME: The Hilarious Comedy About How I Nearly Killed Myself / A Play About How I Nearly Died But Didn’t Then Learned A Lot About Life Afterward (2013).

Clarissa Chandrahasen first brought Committed to this year’s NZ Fringe, directed by Bop Murdoch [see review here] and now, courtesy of the Parkin Development Award, a larger creatively committed team has reworked it for a one week BATS season directed by Tabitha Arthur.

“Community has been the most important part of making my dream of Committed become a reality,” Chandrahasen notes in the programme. This gives the lie to the notion that “working on a fantasy expecting results in reality” is a definition of ‘insanity’. That’s what all artists do – and Committed is very real in concept, insights and performance.

Chandrahasen’s live presence, very much as herself rather than ‘in role’, creates an implicit dialogue, and a dash of dramatic tension, between where she was eight years ago and where she is now. Her connection with the audience – from the moment she greets us, through enrolling people in contributing specific elements to the show (she literally has two fans in the front row), to the reassuring way she revisits experiences that must have been very confronting at the time – makes for a riveting hour.

Designer Rai Doohan has dressed the stage with hangings, shelves of delicate items and a box with a seat back on top that features three different-coloured Xs. (These reference the #committedtolivingwell Grounding Stones available on the landing leading to the Heyday Dome space.) Prominent are two white sheets hung on upward-sloping lines. They are cleverly utilised to create the illusion that Chandrahasen is flying when she is ‘high’, then give her something to huddle into when she is ‘low’.

Props are judiciously used to manifest the situations she finds herself in. And Flinn Gendall’s sound and Zoe Higgins’ lighting design subtly enhance the changing moods as Chandrahasen shares her experiences.

All these elements, along with her easy-flowing text (Chandrahasen did a Journalism course and is deft with humorous turns of phrase), help to generate vivid pictures in our imaginations as our understanding and empathy with her subjective experience grows, while those watching objectively fill in the gaps and ponder the various questions her story raises.

(A post-show wānanga offers an opportunity to share responses and delve further into such matters.)

Given Chandrahasen’s gentle delivery and the fluid pacing of the action, it is remarkable to think back over the peaks and troughs she has taken us through, in both public and private spaces. The phone call at the end that ingeniously bridges the eight-year gap, brings it all to a heart-warming conclusion.

I would have said if you know anyone with mental health issues (and you do whether you know it or not), make sure you see Committed – but this season is all sold out! 

FME

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