Bruce Mason told me, as we prepared for his revue Wits End in 1956, that audiences should consider themselves well pleased if they enjoyed seven out of ten of the sketches in this form of entertainment.

He might change his estimates if he were to rise from his grave to see Destination Beehive: 2017, currently playing at Circa 2 for the next four weeks. He would certainly be applauding loudly.

Lorae Parry and Pinky Agnew focus their significant talents on the forthcoming election, using a structure which has some world renowned politicians introducing local candidates. [More] 

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Last election, it was the candidates vying to win the seat of Port Nicholson that Lorae Parry and Pinky Agnew so deftly created and presented for the Circa-going audience.

This year, it is Tinakori Heights that is in the spotlight in their election special Destination Beehive 2017. 

And the writing and production is just as slick, maybe even more so, than before as the candidates for all the major parties, some with their leaders, are paraded out to espouse their party manifesto. [More] 

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It’s election year and they’re doing it again! Reactivating the winning formula that brought us the hugely popular Destination Beehive in 2014, writer/ producer/ performers Lorae Parry and Pinky Agnew introduce us to a brand new electorate and its hitherto unknown candidates, variously introduced by more familiar political players.

This time Kiwi Media anchors Katrina Coleman (Lorae), Tina Fisher (Pinky) and Bryce Allen (Tom Knowles) announce the Tinakori Heights candidates and reveal we are sitting in ‘smart seats’ that record our political proclivities according to gluteal clenches. At the end of the show – 90 minutes of very witty speechifying, dialogue, action, reaction and interaction heightened by splendidly rendered song and dance – we get to vote. Assuming the election isn’t rigged and/or our hind-quarters haven’t been hacked, the result may be different every night.

Jan Bolwell returns as director/ choreographer with a new (to NZ) musical director, Clinton Zerf, and they preside over the fluid and dynamic delivery of 32+ characters and 14 songs from the highly talented cast of nine (plus sometimes onstage stage manager Neal Barber). In a theatrical version of paddling duck syndrome, they are delightfully present in their roles onstage while presumably working like crazy backstage to don the next costume and wig.

The only one not playing five or more roles is the remarkable Kate Harcourt – now a nonagenarian! She is back and in fine voice as the redoubtable NZ First candidate, Maud Hornby, introduced and endorsed by the man she mentored all those decades ago: Winston Peters himself (pre-recorded). Her glorious rendition of ‘I Will Follow Him’ (made famous by Sister Act?) remains on my brain.

Gifted comedienne and superb singer Carrie Green reprises her Paula Bennett (National Party) and Metiria Turei (Green Party), and adds Marama Fox (Maori Party) to the known quantities while introducing us to the Mana Movement candidate, Awhina Duffy. She also fronts as Foxy TV anchor Felicia Fanning and leads the acerbic ‘Youth Song’ (to Justin Bieber’s ‘Sorry’), laying a guilt trip on the Baby Boomers who got their free educations and affordable houses before pulling up the metaphorical ladder.

Along with the other Foxy TV anchor, Parris La Touche, Lorae is the rather twittery Lynette Scott who, having specialised in joining countless short-lived minor parties (it’s an education to hear them listed), is now the ACT candidate for Tinakori Heights. Lorae’s crowd-favourite Helen Clark also turns up, to introduce the surprise Labour candidate (more of that in a moment). But the turn that generates an especially excited buzz of audience delight is her astutely observed and recreated PM of Great Britain, Theresa May.

Pinky manifests the Ban 1080 Party candidate, Natalie Jefferies, and … should this be a spoiler alert? I can’t not mention her. When this particular refugee from the USA election debacle turns up in a red suit I think, for a moment, it should be blue (given blue and red in the USA denote the converse of their political significance in NZ). But it all makes sense when we discover Hillary Rodham Clinton has bought herself a speedy citizenship in order to become the Labour candidate. [ends]

Pinky’s transformation from power-dressed HRC to the dowdy Faye McFee, Lynette Scott’s sister-in-law, campaign manager and dogsbody, is astonishing. Then she tops it all off with a marvellous German Chancellor, Angela Merkel.  

Tom Knowles brings us an ebullient Grant Robertson (Labour), a gruff Gareth Morgan (TOP) whose moustache has a mind of its own, and a predictably predatory Donald Trump as well as personifying the National candidate for Tinakori Heights, Dick Webster (cue obligatory dick jokes) who promises much, albeit by 2040.

The student actors from Whitireia add greatly to the song and dance numbers, and step up to their individual roles with alacrity. Molly Weaver plays the TOP candidate Jilly Caro-Cant and a very excited Jacinda Ardern. Charles Masina is the highly academically qualified Māori Party candidate, Dr Rikki Te Rapa.

Alexandra Taylor’s Celine Milford-Smith, standing for United Future, is memorably besotted with Peter Dunn’s hair, swooning to ‘Your Hair Will Go On’ (a parody of Celine Dion’s Titanic hit). Her Miss Kitty is equally and oppositely wary of Gareth Morgan, sparking a chase scene to ‘I Tawt I Taw A Puddy Tat’.

Shawn Keil differentiates well between Green Party candidate Jake Jones, National Party campaign manager Ben Brown, a fantasy figure called David Seymour – arising from Lynette and Faye’s operatic ‘Seymour’ (channelling ‘Habanera’ from Bizet’s Carmen) – and the just-back-from wherever Prime Minister, Bill English.  

Having kicked off with ‘The Votey-Votey’ ( to ‘The Hokey Tokey’) and the seething-with-anticipation ‘One’ (from A Chorus Line) the musical treats also include ‘Centre Baby’ (to ‘Santa Baby’), ‘I Got You Labour/Green’ to celebrate their MOU, ‘Anyone Who Had A Brain’ (sung by Jacinda and Hillary), ‘Fox Girls’ (‘Bad Girls’) and ‘Vote Right Now’ (to ‘Stop Right Now’) with the The Pointer Sisters’ classic ‘I’m So Excited’ bringing it all to a climax.

The excitement is infectious. Through astute and insightful satire, Destination Beehive 2017 allows us to feel we have claimed some power back from the inexorably building tsumai of political campaigning.

I predict another hit so book early. And vote.

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