Penny Ashton is a winner, but she wasn’t always.

Although this show is unashamedly all about Penny – she says so a number of times – like all good theatre it wheedles its way into the psyche of the audience in insidious ways and, in my case, brought back idiosyncratic memories in a powerful and unexpected way. This, in turn, caused me to reflect, as both artist and critic, on three seemingly unrelated words – loneliness, fortitude and prescience – each of which seems to underpin the achievements of this fine artist.

First the memories: as a youngster aged five or so I, like Penny Ashton, spent time at Waikuku Beach in North Canterbury. My father, after five years in the front line in World War II, finally succumbed to injury and was returned to New Zealand suffering from what would now be called post traumatic stress syndrome. He spent years in and out of Queen Mary Hospital at Hamner Springs being treated with barbaric early ECT and when we visited him there we would often stop at Waikuku Beach for refreshments and a swim.

I didn’t see Penny Ashton participate in the 1983 Miss Waikuku Beach beauty pageant, the centrepiece of Hot Pink Teeth ’n’ Tits, largely because I was there in 1950 and my Mum wouldn’t allow me to wait the 33 years it would have taken to catch up with her – though, if Hot Pink Teeth ’n’ Tits is anything to go by, the paddy she had when she didn’t win would have made the wait worthwhile!

My first show ever as an actor was directed by a rather gay blade in a silk lilac kaftan who sashayed between the searingly camp and the sneeringly churlish and all I can remember of his direction was his repeated admonition to show “tits and teeth, darlings, tits and teeth”, which seemed, even to my inexperienced ears, odd, since it was a production of The Lion in Winter. It was nice of Ashton to use a similar phrase to name her show and thereby allow me to replace that ghastly memory with an altogether more enjoyable one. 

And the words that the show conjured up? The first is ‘loneliness.’

Loneliness isn’t altogether a bad thing but the solo performer’s experience of being alone, both onstage and off, is unique. It requires an inimitable form of self-knowledge and reflection but the rewards are tremendous. Ashton deserves all of them.

The second is ‘fortitude’. Ashton has guts, resilience, grit and stamina. Hot Pink Teeth ’n’ Tits is a journey that appears, as all good art does, simple and effortless. It’s not. Underpinning this show is a year of research and the courage to, yet again, put herself and her material in the spotlight and take the consequences. Nowhere but in sport and the arts are performance evaluations so regular, so subjective and so cruel.   
 
The final word is ‘prescience’. The ability to put together a show with foreknowledge of an audience’s probable response is a true gift, particularly when the artist, her life, times and attitudes are the primary content of the work. 

So this work that is all about Ashton resonated to such a degree that this audience member engaged with it on an intensely personal level and pondered more deeply about life, the universe and why she had never entered a beauty pageant. There’s that old saying “you can fool the town with a drama but a comedy’s serious business” and this show seriously allows the truth behind the laughter to show through.

The set is simple: a projection screen, a general area and a spot from which diary entries are shared. The screen represents a cast of thousands and is used to splendid effect by Ashton who, in true beauty queen mode, manipulates the images – some moving, some still, all contributory – by means of a silver, star-tipped magic wand. This belies the additional fact that for Ashton there is seldom a fourth wall and the entire auditorium is her playground. Yep, there is absolutely no place to hide for her or us. 

This is a narrative driven, in the first instance, by the fact that Ashton, aged nine, entered the Miss Waikuku Beach competition and didn’t win. To add insult to injury her sister was successful and the outcome is a show about that wonderful thing The Beauty Pageant or, as we are informed, The Festival of Pulchritude. There follows an hilarious gambol through the history of such pageants with sorties into scandal, lineage, the New Zealand ‘form’, Miss World, Miss Universe, Miss Ladyboy, Miss Gay and even Miss Klingon Empire!

So there are plenty of cows, but none of them sacred in the hands of Ashton. Michael Laws, who I’ve always thought of as a bit of a dick, turns up in a new and refreshing guise; there is the suggestion that, God forbid, a moustachioed Tom Cruise might be gay, and even Lorraine Downs comes in for a pasting. 

The humour ranges from pure farce to black comedy and back again with lashings of rudeness for all of us. Ashton gets her teeth into the flawed and famous and manages to make tits of us all, the latter never better exemplified than when her male swimsuit volunteers manage to shame even John Key with their poncy catwalk shenanigans. 

Special mention should be made of Ashton’s home movie efforts. Her interviews with the Miss Universe contestants, hangers-on and groupies are sublime, and her editing and choices of imagery throughout are excellent. No problems with the technology here!

Yes, Hot Pink Teeth ’n’ Tits is a romp. The visuals – and I include Ashton in this – are stunning and the laughs roll over us, but running parallel to this playfulness is a stream of serious comment and pathos which is carried in text, imagery and the fleeting but deeply touching diary snippets. Ashton hides it brilliantly but sustaining all her work is writing that is quite exceptional. Big ups for that!

There are moments where the research becomes almost more interesting than the laughter – no disrespect, the comedy is fine – and during these oddment moments it’s as if the audience doesn’t know whether to laugh or listen. I have no problem with this as audiences will always determine how a piece breathes in performance and it’s courageous play-making that allows us to enter into the work as, at times, equal participants. Risk-taking is present in all fine theatre, and Ashton takes plenty of them. 

There are songs, funny and well delivered, there is impressive, leotard-clad hoofing at the end and a finale that presents Penny Ashton as what we already know she is: a winner. Well, it’s her show, after all. 

This is the second new show from Ashton that I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing this year. GUSH: Love and Other Filthy Habits was great fun and so is Hot Pink Teeth ’n’ Tits but it’s completely different. Ashton has reinvented not only her show and her content but her style as well. Now that’s clever.   

But then Ashton’s a winner, isn’t she? 
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Penny Ashton’s latest offering, Hot Pink Teeth ‘n’ Tits, is a smart, fun and funny show that delves into the world of beauty pageants.

Smart, fun and funny also describes Ms Ashton as she weaves together her own personal story – starting from the emotionally traumatising effects of her unsuccessful bid for Miss Waikuku Beach in 1983 and featuring some hilarious diary extracts – with the story of the Miss Universe 2011 pageant in Las Vegas. Along the way, we learn all sorts about the history of pageantry, pageant scandals and some of the more unusual pageants one can enter. There is hope for us all.

This show is not standard Comedy Festival fare. It is not straight stand up and is a pleasant change from a lot of the blokey comedy that is in abundance. Hot Pink Teeth and Tits has 3 songs, a jazz dance, an audience swimsuit participation section, a video documentary about going to Miss Universe and a PowerPoint presentation. It brings the funny but you learn something at the same time!

I particularly enjoy Ashton’s documentary-style interviews at the Miss Universe pageant in Las Vegas. It is clear she has a natural talent for interviewing, treating her subjects (pageant contestants and attendees alike) with respect and avoiding the all-too-easy stereotype reinforcing joke. She puts people at ease and their humanity shines through. Ashton confides to the audience that she is a bit of a novice in the AV arena. While some of the quality isn’t perfect, the content itself is great.

The songs are clever and well delivered by Ms Ashton (backing track pre-records by Robbie Ellis), although the backing music volume needs to be cranked right up to fill the space in BATS Theatre.

Ms Ashton is a seasoned performer with a natural charisma on stage, which comes in handy in this world premiere opening night show when she faces a number of technical difficulties (issues with the projector and some of the levels in the AV material.). She deals with these issues with grace and wit and keeps the audience on side with her.

The technical difficulties probably contribute to the show running over time at 70 minutes (although it holds my attention throughout and does not feel overly long). It is hard to know what to cut – mileage will probably vary for different audience members. I would start by shortening up the third song, which drags a little in my view. Once the technical difficulties get ironed out, the show will flow better.

Overall though, this is a great night out and I have no doubt the show will improve over the course of the season as it gets tighter. If you like your comedy served with a side of smarts and lycra, get along to this fizzing new show from Penny Ashton. 

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