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[Note: this DomPost review incorrectly calls the real Hot Bitches the Red Hot Bitches, but given that is what was published, I’ll leave the mistake here – ED]

What must be one of the worst semi-professional dance troupes is currently performing their show The Fierceness at Downstage. 

But then bad taste is the hallmark of the Red Hot Bitches Dance Troupe and in this their latest show they exemplify how bad can be good. Ms Cynthia Sachet – Candy Le Coque – has assembly a motley lot of dances on stage to audition for her new show The Fierceness. 

Twenty plus women and three guys, although at times it is hard to tell who is female and who male, strut their stuff through the opening number. From this six are selected and in similar vein to that popular Broadway Show A Chorus Line, each then has to answer one of Ms Sachet’s probing in-depth questions and dance a solo. 

There is Sheena and Tina, co-joint identical twins who were surgically separated as four year olds, the “lone wolf” Bobby Carlisle, the country gal Loretta, the kleptomaniac Carly, who “doesn’t speak rural”, and the ice maiden Gloria.  

Fortunately the inane dialogue of each is short before each lets rip with their solo, a chart topping song from the eighties appropriate to each character. The high point of the show is the finale when Geraldine, Ms Sachet’s secretary, throws off her overalls, and shows them all how it’s done.

With each solo they are joined by the whole company in what can only be described as over-the-top, highly energetic, to the point of manic, dance routines. 

No doubt most of those on stage are seasoned performers – the publicity says “ they all have track records longer than a drag race along Lower Hutt’s main road” – as to perform as badly as they do in this show they have to be good. 

Although the concept is not original script writer and director Gabe McDonnell along with fellow director Rosie Roberts and dance director Emma Chinnock create enough surprises to make the show interesting and although played at one level, full volume, the enthusiasm of the cast is infectious. 

And as tacky and tasteless as the show is, the endless array of costumes the dancers adorn adding much to the shows flavour, it is nevertheless highly entertaining, quite funny in places and a huge hit with the sell-out crowds the show is drawing.
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What can you say about a show that sells out its season – albeit just 3 nights of it, but at Downstage this time, not Bats – before it even opens? Since they first formed in 2005, The Real Hot Bitches have developed a strong following that arguably exceeds the friends and whanau of the 30-odd performers plus creative, production and backstage crew that make up this year’s team.  

RHB captures the zeitgeist of a generation raised in the lurid glow of Flashdance, Dirty Dancing and bedroom, rumpus room and school concert reincarnations of the Pop Rock, Glam Rock and Bubblegum Pop genres. Where once they played at being grown-ups in a supposedly sophisticated world they were yet to enter, they now wallow in lycra-clad nostalgia for a time long gone; for dreams of a tacky show-biz glory never quite fulfilled. And their peer-group fans identify.

This all happens in a parallel universe they are pleased to call “semi-professional dance”, complementing a ‘real world’ that sees them as mothers, office workers, teachers and ‘professionals’ (doctors, lawyers, etc) by day. Indeed they took a bye last year because four key members were having babies. And now they are back with a vengeance.

The Fierceness is billed as their “most ambitious show ever” what with having a script – by Gabe McDonnell, who co-directs with Rosie Roberts – that helps structure the show and motivate the dance routines. It also makes a virtue of the enthusiastic wannabe semi-professional fantasist personae of the performers, who come in all shapes and sizes and with a range of skill levels. (I don’t think they turn anyone away from their classes; their website claims over 125 members.)

All the members have stage names and in that guise 12 play differently-named roles in this show, predicated on the auditions Cynthia Sachet (Candy le Coque)* and her desperate-to-dance-too assistant Geraldine (Pop Tart) are running for their next “off off, way off Broadway Hit Dance Spectacular” – cue: ‘When Will I Be Famous?’ with much shaking of boobies and booty.

Those who survive the first radical cut include once-conjoined twins Sheena (Cyndi Lamas-Arquette) and Tina (Trixie Boom), whose Khandallah Stage Mum (Debrelle van Haler) wants them to be lawyers; Bobby Carlyle (Lee-Roy Swayse), in denial about his Dannevirke High heritage; his unrequited love Gloria (Mercedes D’Silhouette), a classically-trained refugee from Romania who was born to dance but was also a child prodigy gastroenterologist; white satin cowgirl Loretta (Pearl Lusta) who has been much married; kleptomaniac Carly (Gem Wilder) …

The basic format is that they each get asked a question by Cynthia, and their response reveals their background and segues into a big number backed up by the Featured Dancers and Chorus Line (click on the title above to see all the credit listings). Thus we get such numbers as ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’, ‘We Are Family’, ‘Here I Go Again’, ‘Hurts So Good’, ‘Flesh for Fantasy’, ‘My Prerogative’, ‘Gloria’, ‘She’s a Maniac’ …

En route we hear the poignant tale of how Cynthia was brought up a Norman (a little-known branch of the Mormons) before she made a break for it and broke into the dance scene. As for Geraldine, beneath that meek and ever-optimistic exterior lies a … well, a maniac.

Although their all-dancing, all-lip-synching verve, vitality and ‘bitching moves’ are infectious, it remains true to the ‘semi professional’ standards they aspire to; fun to do and fun to watch. The array of costuming is splendid and Jennifer Lal’s lighting design lifts the production values considerably.

While there is lots of stroppy strutting and posturing throughout, the full-on ‘fierceness’ is reserved for the finale: Iron Maiden’s ‘Run to the Hills’ (“White man came across the sea / He brought us pain and misery”), performed by the full ensemble in animal skin prints and horned Viking helmets (didn’t they invade Britain? I take it the wonky connection with history is a conscious declaration of meaninglessness).

The encore is ‘I Was Made For Loving You Baby’ which pretty well expresses the collective feeling of the audience towards the Real Hot Bitches.
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*Given she is the co-founder, producer, publicist and a fund-raiser for RHB and this show, I think it needs to be revealed that Candy le Coque, who plays Cynthia Sachet, is Angela Meyer in the ‘real world’.
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