The Loose Dick Kiddies show was a show that I had been eagerly anticipating in the Fringe. The fusion of children’s show and R-rated humour seemed like the exact sort of thing I would be interested in. Plus, the musicals numbers don’t do any harm. However, after seeing the show on Thursday night, I am left slightly disappointed. 

The format of The Loose Dick Kiddies Show is simple, a children’s show for adults, hosted by Lucy “Loose” Flaps and Richard “Dick” Dickenson. The show begins with the familiar tunes of children’s shows playing while the lighting changes. We are then welcomed into the theatre by the enthusiastic Loose and Dick.

Kylie Milne, who plays Loose, gives a high energy performance that carries right through the show. Her portrayal of the two-jobbed teacher is effective and she works well with fellow children’s show host Daryl Wrightson, playing Dick. However, often I find that her comedic timing is out, and a number of the jokes are not played to their best effect. Wrightson is slightly more aware of his timing, and as such more of his jokes land for me. However, there are moments within some dances where it feels as if Wrightson is unsure of his part. This becomes a bit jarring.

Regan Crummer plays the charming Brown Beaver, who is probably the character the audience are most empathetic towards. Darin Blackman steps into the shoes of Pat the pre-op postman, whose party is the main goal for the characters to organise, and Brady Peeti fills out the cast in his role as the government.

First of all, there are a couple of issues with the writing. The script as a whole feels unrefined and could do with some shortening and cutting of gags. There were a few great jokes hidden within the writing and because of the pure amount of content, we often lose the punch line of some of these jokes. In saying that, there are some hilarious moments including the song about people in the community.

What most makes me uncomfortable are the jokes centred on transgendered character, Pat the pre-op postman. Though not malicious or aggressive, the commentary on Pat seems uninformed and a little ignorant, perhaps trivialising the issues of transgendered people. This is one damper on what otherwise is a really interesting and engaging format. With some refining and work on timing, The Loose Dick Kiddies Show could be a fantastic piece of comedic theatre.

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The Loose Dick Kiddies Show is “brought to you by the letter ‘U’ for un-P.C. and ‘O’ for offensive”.   

The show follows Lucy ‘Loose’ (Kylie Milne) and Richard ‘Dick’ (Daryl Wrightson) who exist within the premise of a preschool TV show. They are accompanied by their friend, Brown Beaver (actor uncredited) on keyboard. 

The Loose Dick Kiddies Show exploits the tropes of our equally beloved and loathed presented children’s shows such as Barney, Playschool and Humphrey Bear. However, the company juxtaposes the form by packing it to the point of bursting with smut and filth.

This is not a show for the faint-hearted. Stuffed companions such as Big Ted the drug dealing teddy bear, Lily the Lesbian dog who has her liquor licence and Hump-Me-Dump-Me, among others, join the three friends.  Of course there’s visitors too such as Pat, the Pre-Op Postman who is soon to be Patsy. 

The performances by all actors are top-notch and the writing, in all its glorious smuttiness, is masterful. The Loose Dick Kiddies Show is filthy without apology, which very quickly sets the audience to be comfortable enough to have fun and laugh (and squirm) along with them. The small opening night audience is in hysterics throughout the show, with many a gasped expletive ringing out from the seats.

Within the outright bawdiness however, the show finds moments of rather surprising poignant social commentary such as the housing crisis and the challenges of families who are living below the poverty line – particularly immigrants: “Run, run as fast as you can, I’ll catch you, I’m the immigration man!” 

The show is concluded by an absolutely dynamite, slum dunk, performance by one of their guest characters whom I’m very sad not to name (no programme).

My only gripe with the show – which is practically flawless – is that it contains three very long and seemingly unnecessary scene transitions that leave the performers having to reignite the audience energy they’ve just done so well to generate. I’m sure this is due to being in a new venue with little rehearsal time and will no doubt have sorted itself out by the next show.

The Loose Dick Kiddies Show is a rollicking romp even for a big prude like me and, as with many visiting Fringe shows this year, is very deserving of more audience members to play with. Towards the end of the show, Loose even offers me a “blowie”, which I politely accept of course – what more could you ask for? 

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A Show and Tell from hell, a Mr. Rogers Neighbourhood if the neighbourhood was a porn set and Mr. Rogers was played by the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. A Barney & Friends if Barney had no friends…

In reviewing this show I feel like a carnival barker promoting the geek in the freak show. In a good way, mind. [More]

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It is well past my bedtime as we roll into our chosen seats in the Q Theatre Loft, for The Loose Dick Kiddies Show. I am pretty excited. Having seen and thoroughly enjoyed writer /director /actor Daryl Wrightson’s 2013 show Silly Hat Sausage Sizzle Spectacular Birthday Bash Bonanza Extravaganza I am super keen to see what he has come up with this time.

Tonight I am lucky to have two companions to enjoy the show with. Both are Wrightson virgins, have been read the publicity and are also quite interested in getting a face full of good natured filth, and some belly laughs. I feel sure we will get just that, as the vibe is sizzling as the audience takes their seats (it looks to be an almost capacity crowd from where I am sitting). 

Music fills the auditorium – classic television theme tunes and children’s songs – which sets the scene well. We love the stage and have fun pointing out all of the dressings: giant Rubik’s Cubes, a Wendy House, various stuffed toys and an electronic keyboard. We have been promised singing, so this is a reassuring prop! There is also an overhead projector – the one piece of technology I wish I owned. (I just love them but am unsure what I would do with an overhead projector, hence I don’t have one.) I am now excited to a fever pitch. I just want this show to be as good as the stage looks.

Mostly it is.

The lights come up and we are in TV land! A children’s show – Lucy ‘Loose’ (Kylie Milne) and Richard ‘Dick’ (Daryl Wrightson) are our hosts, and we are at their house. They are joined by keyboardist and low status, third-wheel: Brown Beaver (I cannot name the actor, as there is no programme) and together the trio sings-along an introduction.

The first half hour of the show – very much in keeping with the format of any ‘Play School’ show – is based around meeting everyone in the house and setting up the activity for the show: a party for their friend Pat the Pre-Op Postman (yep, he’s getting his ‘incy wincy inside out’ a neat wee song in the show).

There are some funny moments here, and some unfunny ones (a particular ‘dolly’ in the house is treated fairly badly, and the first real flop of the night is the ‘funding’ gag, which disappoints me, because done slightly differently this would have been a scream). The pace of this first half of the show also drags; I want something to happen. Then all-of-a-sudden it does.

The second half-hour is played at rampant speed and is jammed full of action. This is where the show really starts to take me somewhere, and the rest of the audience is animatedly along for the ride. We sing, we play percussion, we laugh and laugh and laugh. I find myself thinking, if only we had got to this bit sooner.

Moving away from sugary TV land, Loose and Dick start peeling back the layers of their lives, and this is where their smutty gags and innuendo gets its guts because you actually see two bitter and twisted Kiwi wannabe stars that are just trying to get famous. It is sad, but then all of the best comedy comes from tragedy and this is fine proof – it adds so much richness to the rest of the show.  

It is also said that the best comic tragedy comes from reality, and I get the feeling (having myself been a student of the arts and teaching, a few or twenty-mumble years ago) that there is a good dose of a true story nestled into the back-story of Loose and Dick’s behaviours, their frustrations and their problems. 

Any good story has to have a problem or two, otherwise why are you watching /reading /listening? And with a problem there must be some kind of end: a solution or consequence. We have it here, but I am again let down over how we end our night with Loose and Dick. The end is rushed and whilst funny as hell – the whole show is upstaged by the knock out performance of (a mystery performer: no programme) playing a post-apocalyptic government henchman – it’s not satisfying. The lights come up and the actors take their bows and it is over. But what about the TV show, guys?

That’s the one thing that sticks with me: Pat never got his party. How much I would have delighted in watching Loose and Dick, these two wrung out (they literally lose the clothes off their backs) failures, struggle on through the end of their TV land kiddies show. 

There is so much good work here, so many great laughs later in the show; Wrightson and Milne work so well and easily together, it is easy to see how they were voted in the top 5 best characters by Metro magazine at the Auckland Fringe 2015. And their use of an overhead projector is exceptional.

I think that sometimes when a person, or people write, perform and direct a comedy show, the perspective (and the comedy gold) can get lost, and I would like to see just how much more the show would get from having another eye look over it. There is the potential for this show to become a five star night of risqué entertainment.

There is a good helping of audience interaction so sit well clear of the first couple of rows (the show is GA) if you want to stay out of the action. And please, if you are of a sensitive disposition, this is not the show for you; The Loose Dick Kiddies Show is a raucous, balls-out smut fest, served with a good helping of Benny Hill-esque folly-sleaze.

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