https://www.thepost.co.nz/culture/350273015/tough-tiger-fist-deliver-manic-good-time

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Enough procrastination; I have to bite the proverbial bullet and write this review.

When I select shows to see from the wealth of options available in the Comedy Festival, I’m initially drawn to acts with two or more performers that promise sketch material, rather than just a stand-up gag fest. Not that there’s anything wrong with stand-up; the best are the ‘Court jesters’ of our age, licensed to speak truth to power and get away with it. It’s just that, as well as hearing my semi-formed thoughts, or things I’ve never thought about, crystalised humorously, I like to watch actors interacting.  

Tough Tiger Fist’s Star-Crossed Brothers also appealed because our own Penny Dodd wrote a glowing review of their Sax Appeal in Auckland last year, they were nominated for ‘Best Live Comedy Show and Breakout Performer – Upper North Island’ in the 2023 NZ Comedy Guild Awards and now they are among this year’s Billy-T Award Nominees. What could go wrong?

‘Technical Difficulties’ on a colourful test pattern alternating with ‘No signal’ on the dual screens that flank The Cavern Club’s performing platform pre-show, and apparent issues with dead mics and a guitar, may be an omen. But Techie Sanjay Parbhu and the dual-remote-wielding Barman are on the case as Ben Cleland and Matt Parker (the Tough Tiger Fist duo) set up their props, and all seems to come right. After all this is their second night; it’s not the dress rehearsal. I remain optimistic.

What follows, however, is an insult to those who have come to this gig on trust. OK, there’s only 8 of us, half on official business, but we should be regarded as the ‘canary in the coal mine’ whose job is to monitor whether it’s safe for others to follow.

Here is the promo blurb: “Investigating their mysterious deaths are two hapless police officers from Waiuku PD, Ken Bleland and Patt Marker. Can these glorified mall-cops solve the case and pull off an award winning comedy show, or are they about to die on stage?” Well they do die on stage, three times over, in a hail of bullets from a dastardly Frenchman. It should be funny but it’s not because their script is semi-coherent and they are woefully under-rehearsed. They play on being ‘semi-professional’ with big aspirations but prove to be totally unprofessional.

Is this another example of Auckland performers disrespecting Wellington audiences by (ab)using us as a try-out venue (cf: Tara’s review of Tom Sainsbury’s show)? Well, here’s the thing: Theatreview is a globally available website and we have chosen to prioritise shows that open in Wellington before playing Auckland so that our Auckland readers can get an idea of what shows might be worth their time and money.

Given the pre-recorded video scenes are also appallingly produced, we have to deduce this their chosen style. It is a major rookie mistake to think that performing like really bad actors will be inherently funny. It’s not – unless you are extremely good actors with the skills to pull it off, abetted by a brilliantly crafted script (Note to TTF: do NOT use the last three words as a pull quote).

To be fair, their work does come into focus and become amusing when they sing their original songs (which is what appealed in Sax Appeal last year). ‘Milk’, which they reprise from that show, rhymes “mastication” with “lactation” and includes such clever lyrics as “Milk me Daddy, do it please / Milk me before it turns to cheese”. ‘It’s Hard to be a Cop’ rhymes “this heavy burden” with “I am a virgin” …

But when one is phoning the police chief and the other one says, “Don’t make us sound like completely incompetent buffoons,” I can only think, but you are! And it’s no joke. They also try to run a gag suggesting they are in love with each other which doesn’t come off at any level.

Apart from the bits of tacky ‘adult’ attempts at humour, Tough Tiger Fist’s Star-Crossed Brothers plays out like a couple of seven-year-olds putting on a show at a family gathering that seemed like a good idea at the time and may or may not offer a learning opportunity. They’ll need to work very hard, preferably with an experienced director, to be ready for Auckland the week after next.

Copyright © in the review belongs to the reviewer